so it seems that i have fallen back somewhere,
say in the year 2003
where all i did was ruminate over her music
and watch Magnolia dozens of times a week
and read interviews of fiona apple.
and that is ok with me
because this is the first time in weeks i have felt
the 4 months of lying on my carpet floor,
singing to the cieling
missing out on nothing
studying her voice (along with billie holiday and ella fitzgareld)
long beach sky never turns fully dark.
(i will never forget that)
once again, she has inspired me to look up writers i have not
i am grateful because i have been in a rut for weeks now.
i know it happens to everyone,
writer's block, depression, anxiety, listlessness, etc etc etc
but i have been in a complete and total black space for a while
and the few days have been amazing.
but today, i feel inspired to read and then write and then hopefully create
and that mere feeling of being "stuck" on something,
excited about something,
is a relief.
so, once again fiona apple
you never fail.