Monday, November 30, 2009

blood + coffee.

finals are coming up and with that, the sinking regrets of all the lost time
that you spent,
bored and calculated,
twidling your thumbs all the while when you could have been studying
or writing essays
or finsihing extra credit.
ah, yes
the american child.
well, i am tired and it's 32 hour workweeks along with 3 classes that i will
hesitantly retire with a less than perfect grade,
not due to lack of effort but
to time dwindling away.
the week has just began
yet i feel it slipping away.
without the proper numberical input that i needed to give.

oh, but don't you know.
the world feeds off of stress and blood and coffee.


goodbye November.

you've been good.

and now, mayhem.


well, i'm thinking...

snow and blood.
three strangers following.
all of us dressed in black.
the one with maybe gold around.
dark and dusk.
the pretty lights.

stage fright.

Friday, November 27, 2009

black. colors. solar.

i'm starting to understand that there is no co-pilot,
that working for days in a row makes me depressed.
the only solar color i see is black and
that it is.
the smile on your face was never so genuine.
i've hidden my hands in the first attempt,
your round collar is futile
and i've never seen you weep.
the ugly choke, the pretty blood
the veins i swallowed.
all meant nothing to me.

a hundred affections.

and we are all cynics. the skinny mexican who thinks that his last name is best.
holds a candle in his hand, never seeing the dark.
it's his way of dealing with the dead
or the trivial.

the meeting of enemies, the sudden oath, the blows and fall...
the impassive stones that recieve and return so many echoes,
what groan's of over-fed or half-starved who fall sunstruck or in fits,
what living and burried speech is always vibrating here.

and roll head over heels and tangle my hair in wisps.


my mother found a box of old recordings that i did on tape.
some were awful, embarrasing logs of myself
singing or creating tv commercials.
i was 10 years old and sighing.
something about kodak video camera ads and the nicotine patch.
and then audio of me in a church basement
singing along with my first band
in high school to the pixies, no doubt, and mars volta.
i lost my voice for 4 days after screaming "televators".

Thursday, November 26, 2009

happy native americans /shoshone/ sioux/ black bear

i have to say that i am in such a better state than i've ever been lately.

i am so in love that it's overwhelming most of the time.
and to know that this is not some fleeting, secretive, rushed emotion-no it's over a year old and i'm still floored by the mere opening my eyes to see her eyelids (hushed over in some slumber) or the mere opening of her mouth, voice lifted -
her voice makes me ache.
ache. ache. ache.
i'm so gratful for her. nothing i say will ever really matter or even halfway be articulated the way i would like it to be
but you know the feeling when you hear your favorite song for the first time and you just keep on playing it on repeat because it's the only thing that you want and need at that moment ?
well, that's how it is with her, only it's been nonstop for over 500 days or so and i'm still obsessed.


today is thanksgiving and for this, i give thanks for the people in my life.
although, i like to think that we would all do this everyday not just for some American celebration. but either way, i love all of my friends and family.
they know that. i know it. i am blessed to have the people in my life.
they are beautiful and loving, talented, genuine, and inspiring.
so thank you.

yes, you.

p.s. i really miss my grandmother. i realized this today when i was playing guitar for 5 seconds. i need to call her.
i also miss my cousin Gary. he and i were best friends growing up. i get to see him tomorrow before work. oh, glory.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009


p.s. Sister Crayon got a write up in LA WEEKLY.

thank you, Angeles.

1990's mariah carey, you know-with the big hair

christmas music is now playing in the hotel lobby.
complete with all of your Frank Sinatra to Britney Spears favorites.

god, give me ella and billie and elvis and work would be a lot more enjoyable.

p.s. old mariah carey was the finest.

Friday, November 20, 2009

voices voices

this hotel is getting creepier as each night goes on.

i've been stumbling every other hour over my slippers behind this counter.

i haven't listened to music for almost a week straight until I found the new Voices Voices EP.

it's perfect, some sort of lullaby assassin music.

p.s. does anyone even read this anymore?

Thursday, November 19, 2009

evil eye.

oh, i've been neglectful of this blog.
but it seems like others have as well.
i think i may make a tumbler.
the written word is failing.

i have started answering my phone a lot more.
i am used to never picking it up.

ophelia is scaring me with how attached she is to jordyn.
she won't even let me kiss her when she is around.

she gives me the evil eye.

Thursday, November 12, 2009


it seems like at a time when things should be joyous
they are instead ill and sullen.

there are worse things, true that could have happened.

after watching Charla's story last night, everything must be put into perspective.

the world is not ending.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

curtis mayfield.

tonight is very slow at the hotel.
people are seeming to be not as genuine as i thought they were.
and nina simone is on my mind.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009


it all seems so hectic and graphic.

i wrote a letter to one of my best friends.

he gave me his address.

let's see if i send it.

Sunday, November 1, 2009


i'm trying to read a biography on walt whitman
(fascinating man that he is)
i cannot focus.
yesterday had me shaking with the news that Manimal Vinyl Records is interested in helping us release our album next year.
i've been discouraged a bit due to the lack of vocal support from others,
so the call yesterday from Paul really justified all of this hard work.

if this thing happens,
it's going to be a whirlwind next year.