alcohol and the scream.

I have to admit, the show last night was amazing. A lot of people interested more in the music than in the beer. A lot of people screaming and dancing. I am hesitant (practically abhor) playing bars anymore because of the mere fact that alcohol makes people restless, loud, and scary. I don't detest alcohol...I detest bar people most of the time. Bro's who love cheap beer and who scream " who-hoo!" after each song and who clap really loud. Girls who scream just for the sake of screaming, not really listening at all but if you got a beat, they will move to it. I'm not interested in that.

But last night was incredible. People actually cared and the energy was thriving. I got lost in the wave of it all and was not insecure or awkward or uncomfortable at all. I sang and twisted my words and wailed and danced and Chelsea came up on stage and danced with me. Dani did amazing and was on the whole night. The boys were dead on. It went awesome.

Sometimes, sometimes...it feels like music should be the only thing that i should be doing.

between slight day and night.

in, the morning. in, red shift. a semi pre-wash of  mishaps and late night words. delivered from a city 400 miles away. 

jeff buckley has been an obsession of mine for the last 2 years, but within the last few weeks, i have been insanely withdrawn from any other music...

my ears seem to want to huddle inside his voice. 

i'll stay here for a while, i guess.

in the morning (in your chest) (in your chest) (in your chest)...

there are strangers in my bed and family in my head. hesitant to wake up from my dream just yet, but my alarm clock went off 3 times this morning, so the characters vanished as soon as i woke.

pretending to be over with before it has begun, today will be a lot easier than the last 2 days.

i wonder, 

if any more science can be fucked with. there are years hidden here, in the small pockets of face. below the eyelids are carnivals of space. 

a whole agenda hidden in her hair. 

his 

her

their

our

mine

we

all.

i think i am delerious this morning. 

hither to wake, befriend a notion that is finally your own.

when i call a name...

numbers in the twos, numbers in the twenties. it doesn't really matter what age you claim, because they are still going to talk to you.

today was heavy. 

i deleted all my past blogs accidently and feel pretty stupid for it. 

working 12 hours is not a part of life that i want to live...although money is an asset, so i hear.

blankblankblank.

i'm wasting words when i could be gaining.