Thursday, March 25, 2010

watching water.

i have a lot of anger in me 
and this i not something new
i get irritated easily
at the same time
i love hard and am loyal
especially to those who i believe are the same to me
but lately
i've been bothered by the mere sights of some faces
this sounds so 
but please know that i have good intentions
sometimes all that it takes or will ever take 
is to write it out
in order to understand it 
and fix it
and that is what i'm doing
because i don't want to be the :serious one" always,
the "mother of the fucking group"
the one who covers her bases while everyone else is living in warped speed
and there is no judgement here
but it's hard to separate yourself from those you (are a family with/makeshift family/career/"business") 
your actions become their actions and their trash becomes your trash and your fuck up becomes their fuck ups and their blood becomes your blood and your distance 
will only ruin this in the end

and i realize this 
and that is why i'm writing this

it is all within the process
or maybe it isin't. 

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