mom.

this past week has been a frantic blur

and this time, 

i am not being dramatic. 

experiences that are traumatic 

NEVER leave you.

don't forget that.

trust me,

i tried and all that i got were a few eventful years

and now 

all i feel 

is the 

crying light. 

but

there has to be hope. 

there must be, otherwise why would we be here?

if anything, 

you have to gather all of those moments that kill you

and pull them together 

and create something really beautiful if you can. 

whether you scream at people, 

or cry during recordings, 

or jump and shout on a stage,

or read to a child,

or write letters to dead heroes,

or kiss your lover,

or walk your dog,

or hug a friend,

or eat cereal.

it has to work out.